Summmmmmer

So, if you actually read this, can you do me a favour and shoot me an e-mail so I actually know it's worth updating this more than once a few weeks (err..months apparently)?

Things that are new since last post:
- I went to Mexico to work for 2 weeks. Amazing experience. And I kinda wish I was still there.
- My family went to Italy and Switzerland and I think I officially need to visit both places, as well as 100's of others.
- Jordan's not working (his boss is very ill, and sold the business). So I get a little stir crazy with lack of alone time, but it's been nice at the same time because we've been doing new things together and cooking amazing meals
- My Uncle John moved to London, which I'm pretty stoked about, because he needs to get away from Windsor and get things on track. He lives down the street from me.
- I'm back into working out again and it feels good to have a solid routine starting. Feel like I'm getting back on track.
- Been writing a lot more lately, and loving every minute of it.

Theres so much going on but it just feels silly to write it all out because I don't even know who reads this haha.

Yikes.

So...probably shouldn't have got back into the blog world. As I never even use mine.

But I figure I'd update this for the -maybe- two people who read it.

I've pretty much got things figured out these days. I just feel like there are so many self improvements I need to make that it overwhelms me. I know what I need to do and it's hard to motivate myself each day to keep at it. But I'm trying. And that's all I can really ask at this point. I just feel burnt out, I need summer, and then I'll be me again. Me and summer are like my brain and coffee....we just need each other. Plain and simple.

On the plus side, Jordan and I have taken up some dance classes which are surprisingly amazing. We're taking a mixture of stuff - waltz, fox-trot, rumba, tango, salsa, etc. And we're actually picking it up really fast and having a blast doing it. It's a nice way to de-stress during a busy time of year and gives us something new to try. It's expensive but we've got a beginner package which is suppper cheap in comparison so we'll finish this at least and go from there and see how it goes. who knows, maybe i'll be a star some day? Haha. I wouldn't mind dancing with Antonio Banderas in Take The Lead. Damn. Watch that movie ladies, it's delightful.

That's about all for now, spring is on the way and then off to Mexico to work and see the other side of life. It's going to be hard, and I have a lot of work to do for myself between now and then both emotionally and mentally. But it is what I need.

New term, new routine

I really need to update this... so for now i'll just remind myself what to discuss in length at a later date to fill ya'll in.

1. Considering Natural Medicine. Which means moving to Toronto in a year and a half. Eek.

2. Placement - working with seventy men that are 80+ = hilarious, and always interesting.

3. Jealousy. And how much I dislike it and will never understand it.

4. Family. As always.

Memories....

So I was cleaning up my inbox today, when I noticed I had a file called "Gotta Save" that I started way back in the day. I decided it'd be funny to see what I thought was important back in the day (I haven't saved anything to it in years...) and I'm so glad I did.

It was full of e-mails from Tori J, the love of my life. She sent me the sweetest e-mails when I was down in high school, after heartbreaks, or childish fights with friends, lots of cute ones full of lyrics and sweet things to show me she cared. Melted my heart all over again.

So Tori J Wilcox, this one goes out to you...because you're the sunshine in my life, one of the best people I know, and not just my winter sanity, but my year-round sanity :) Love you!

Jealousy.

Jealousy is called the green monster...and a monster, it is. It's been a problem of mine, possibly tied in with trust. I don't know why, or where it come from, or if it's even rational to think certain things that I do. All I know, is that it can ruin a relationship. And it did. And only now can I see how much it really effects things...and hope to advocate for how detrimental it can be to a relationship.

After being in a relationship for 4 years, I lost it all last night. Every bit of it. All communication, gone. Because of jealousy. Because I can't handle my own emotions and my feelings, and can't justify where they even come from. Maybe seeing a disgusting history of affairs in my family makes me self-conscious about the reality it could be happening to me. Maybe it's the little things he did that seemed like a big deal to me, but maybe weren't. Whatever it was, it's over. And at probably the worst time.

I'm done school today for the holidays. At 10 o'clock I'll be handing in all my final papers, and then I'm free till January 4th. I've been looking forward to this for weeks and weeks, and now that it's here... I don't want it. I want to be busy with school to take my mind off this. At least friends will be around, and Tori is coming home. But for now... my head is a mess. My heart is in pieces. And my eyes are stinging.

Blah. Happy holidays. Bah-humbug.

Morning off, mmm...

This is for Toriiiii heh say hello to your nephew Duey!

The concept of having time off for a university student is a little ridiculous, but I like to pretend it makes a great impact either way. I live for Monday mornings where I don't have to get up early because I don't start class till 1:30. The other four days I start at either 8:30 or 9:30 and typically live at school those days so Mondays are great. The only downfall is Monday morning is my only time to get stuff done so I really don't get to sleep in because I have laundry up to my ears and assignments to write and blogs to update? Heh.



Everything's still great. Doing really well these days. A lot of progression. Today I should find out where my placement is finally. I hope. Most people that found out so far are being sent out of town so I hope to God I'm not also.



Hmm...there really isn't much to talk about when you spend your week living in the library and your weekend drinking wine and playing video games haha. Gotta love life :)

Smooth sailin'

Hey ya'll.

Been a while again I know. I just never think about writing in this thing because any spare moments are spent trying to catch up on sleep or relaxing.

School's been nutsssss lately. So many exams and presentations and papers due. I'm done all my exams for the year now thank God. We don't have finals so I'm pretty excited about that...just lots of papers and presentations but those are easier than exams any day. Things have been going pretty well and I've been doing well (Except one exam...but EVERYBODY said they think they failed it so i'm sure a bell curve will be necessary).

I start the Kings Ambassador thing soon, we had a meeting yesterday and I'm pretty stoked about it. It'll be nice going back to South and talking to the kids about my program and about the school in general and answering their questions. Heh. I remember being in grade eleven and twelve thinking about university and being so nervous about it...so it'll be nice to reassure them that it's honestly an awesome place to be. This year has really been life-changing for me. The people I've met, the things I've learned about myself.

I'm so glad I stuck it out and came to school this year. I almost took a year off but i'm so glad I didn't. This program is just me. It just feels right. I'm in love with it. It's so much work and so draining living in the library like 30 hours a week but it feels so rewarding when things get accomplished and I get those marks back. I started tutoring a girl too and that is going great and even though I don't get paid for it, it's still rewardingto see her grasp the concepts and do well.

Really exciting times. Still. I feel like every day is a new experience and I feel like myself finally. I'm figuring things out and resolving issues within myself I never knew existed. It's an amazing process and I'm so stoked on life.

Love love love. That's all I can say.